I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
