i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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