he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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