There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
