wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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