Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
