I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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