Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
