wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
