I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
It's never too late to be topless.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
