the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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