my mouth tastes like poor choices
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
