ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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