i jhust puked up my retainher.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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