She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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