I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
