We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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