Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
