I need help removing her.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
