Screwed.edu
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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