So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
