I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I still have a little drunk in my system
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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