the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
