Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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