Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
