i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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