Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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