i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I love you. Go after that dick
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
