She's JV to your varsity
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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