he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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