My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
