I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
