Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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