I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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