It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
