whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
