if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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