Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
