What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
