i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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