just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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