He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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