You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
