Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
