32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
