What a fucking waste of an outfit
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Don't EVER smell your tampon
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Bring me that man meat
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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