nut hugger
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
