booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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