Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
