He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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