is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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