Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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