hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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