just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
As shirtless as possible
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
