Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
