He uses pillows to masturbate.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize