Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
is it fun? or sober?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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