we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
