you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
