what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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