I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
