Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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